I wanted to write my second blog on an experience on being a parent again.
As a new mom, there are so many times that I’ve felt like a failure or felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I always felt like the clothes needed to be washed, dinner wasn’t made yet, the cat needed my attention, my baby needed my attention, I needed to shower… so many things that needed to be done, but I always felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day to do it. I’ve also been that mom that never stopped going and doing things from the time she got up, until the time she went to bed.
I’m pretty sure most of us have been in these situations before. Then there have been those nights that I’ve laid in bed thinking to myself, “Why didn’t you do that today?” or “How come you didn’t get all of these things accomplished today?” And I would beat myself up about it because I never thought what I was doing was enough. I always thought there could be more. I could do more. Even though, most nights, when I would finally get a chance to sit down, it wasn’t until right before I would go to bed, and I would sit down to eat. Or lying down in bed would be the first time I would lay down. It was crazy! I was always exhausted night after night.
I think as humans we are our own worst critics. We are always so hard on ourselves to be the best and to do the best even when we’re tired and we can’t go on any more. Why is that? Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we beat ourselves up when the dishes aren’t washed, the laundry isn’t folded and dinner isn’t made on time?
So for myself, I decided to stop. Stop trying to do it all. Stop killing myself. Stop exhausting myself. Because it’s all okay. It’s okay that I can’t do it all. Or that I have to ask for help. Or that some things just have to be done tomorrow. It’s all okay.
Some days I don’t get all the dishes and bottles washed in the sink, and maybe I don’t get a chance to sit down with my husband for dinner, and maybe I have to drink a glass of wine in the bathtub, and stuff a sandwich down my throat before I hop into bed for the night. But at the end of the day, it’s all okay. Because my family is fed, and we are safe, and everyone is loved. And that’s all that really matters.